You have one minute to decide the rest of your life.

John Herzfeld deftly welds together a multitude of subplots-- a loser hitman and a cool assassin involved in an insurance scam; a washed-up director, turned suicidal, if only he had someone to care for his beloved dog; a snooty art dealer, wracked by kidney stones, cared for by his devoted assistant; a grungy deranged vice cop, now partnered with a fresh-faced rookie; and two beautiful and jealous women entangled in their deadly scheme--into a spoof of the crime thriller genre.